My heart is free. My mind is free. My soul is free. And I realize how by forgiving her, I have done such a great favour to myself. Forgiveness is not an obligation on the forgiven.
Here is my story
Enjoy talking to each other, I enjoy her company. I will refer to her as C.
Realizing me as a threat to her personal ambition, in less than a month, C conspired against me. She turned all my colleagues and the management against me. The management had already turned deaf and dumb to me. I had decided to resign.
What I went through after this is more difficult to describe. Becoming suddenly jobless. I sank into a deep chasm of depression. Every time I tried to sleep, I would get her nightmares of her harming me.
Two months after my resignation, my boss emailed me asking if I would like to work again under different circumstances. We met. My boss was honestly penitent, apologized and realized she had been at fault and wanted me back. She offered me a double salary and an elevated status as compared to earlier.
Instead I joined a new place, with a whole new bunch of colleagues. My nightmares started to vanish. I got immersed in my work which helped me in forgetting C. However, every now and then, my over cautious behavior towards my colleagues. C, showed how deeply scarred I was from inside. “It will take some time to heal,” I told myself.
Fate doesn’t work that way though. Does it?
Nearly a year later, C joined the same institution and I was shocked beyond words.
On her first day, she just sailed into the place like a breeze of ocean air, touring all the work areas, encountered me, spread an ear to ear beaming smile on her face and exclaimed, “Hi, how nice to see you!” She pretended as if we were long lost sisters!
The replay of the old drama and the depression returned in full force. My wounds turned green again. Bumping into C twenty times every day was painful. In front of others, I tried to appear normal but avoided her as best as I could. At times felt like telling her, “Do you know that you almost killed me?”
My colleagues were noticing and wondering. Only my closest colleague knew what was afoot. Whatever had happened, it should be left in the past. I have to move forward. I must give her another chance and see for myself if I can accept it as a challenge. I want to free myself from her negative influence.”
After talking my heart out with the psychologist, I felt all the negative feelings disappear. My heart was lighter. It was a truly valuable session. How merely talking can heal! When I walked out of the room, I was a new person.
Since some time now, all negative feelings in my heart, the fear, the apprehension, the pain that was associated with C is gone. Gone forever. Never to come back again. I have forgiven her fully and wholeheartedly and it doesn’t matter to me if she knows it or not.
By forgiving her unconditionally, I cut the rope that tied me to the weight and now I am free.